Bless My Anger

Dark reflections on water

[Edit: People have been telling me that it sounds like I’m actually saying my blessings out loud. No: It’s all in my head. Everything is in my head. You are in my head.]

My name is Jimbeaux and I have anger issues.

Primarily at myself. Especially over the past year. Since I screwed up so bad. And lost my best friend. Friends.


Anyway: This site is called Blessings for a reason. Blessings are my weapon against my anger.

’Cause you can’t use anger against anger: it’s sort of like fighting fire with gasoline. You can’t use any sort of push muscles against anger, ’cause it just pushes back.

So I try to bless my anger.

Usually my blessings start out sounding more like cusses: Bless my goddamn m-f’ing black heart and all the worms within. But the more blessed cusses I spit out, the less cussy they become, and I get to the point of managing something almost on the nice side: Bless my stupid self so that I may become less stupid.

It works.

It works especially well against other people. If someone is pissing me off, I start throwing blessings at him: Bless him for his ever so meticulous way of wasting my time. Again, the more blessings I spit out, the sort of nicer they become. Certainly nicer than directly cussing him out.

Tonglen is another nice practice for dealing with negative energies. You breathe in negative energies, filtering them through your own self, so that when you breathe out, they’re positive energies.

May you have a better day for having read this.

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