If my last post didn’t bring you out of hiding, you must be truly gone.
I miss you so much.
Do you miss me?
Okay, so here I am, saying what’s been hanging unsaid since I put this post up: Yeah, I got no leg to stand on when it comes to being gone. When it comes to letting people down by being gone. When they need you. And you’re gone. I’m gone. I was gone . . .
And you needed me.
The strangest things are happening. I mean in terms of relationships and alliances and all that.
Closeness to someone I didn’t expect to get close to.
Please contact me. Only you would understand.
Only you would understand the roller coaster that I’m on. No shi!t. That is what I mean.
That creaking sound you hear is the gears of my brain.
I am learning.
CADY! I’m learning how to epub your book.
I can’t believe you would turn away from paper, but in case you’re living purely electronically, watch this space for epub and Kindle versions of your book.
I mean really free. Not like TV free, where you just add shipping and handling. I mean
In case you’re living purely electronically hand to mouth. Or something.
[insert Call me! boilerplate here]
Cady! You won’t believe it!
I drove down to David’s house.
His new wife and kid weren’t there.
But David was.
He wanted to be sure I showed you how big the trillium and lily of the valley patches have gotten. And look! They were both in bloom. He was thrilled that I was there to see it– like a connection to you or something.
He took me into the house and showed me the stain on the ceiling. He left it there on purpose.
And he wanted me to tell you that he does come home now, to the wife and kid. He remembers your talk. Thinks about it all the time. Like every time he wants to stray. Like all the time. But he doesn’t. He wanted me to tell you that.
So now I have. I hope you read this someday. Maybe you’re reading it now– well, not NOW; I haven’t published it yet. But soon now. And if you are, dammit: CALL ME! EMAIL ME!
Edit: Oh! And David saw our signs!!
But they took ’em down pretty quick, he said.
I’m not carrying the red rock in my pocket any more.
It’s heavy! And as you know, I don’t like carrying stuff in my pockets.
Besides, I’ve lost the wind. Lost it before I stopped carrying the rock.
I don’t know which way to face.
I watched To Kill a Mockingbird, ’cause I know it’s your favorite movie. Still putting those energies out there.
I hadn’t before noticed the theme of Boo Radley as Frankenstein, in which the monster is less monstrous than some of those around him.
Edit: I’ve gotten a lot of “Well, duh”s and “Mr. Arthur Radley was not a monster at all.” Okay, I get it.
As Mr. Peck would say, he was a study in acting.
[I know: unrelated. Character / Actor. I get it. <– Thinking emptively; I have to do that before I can get ahead of it]
I picked up the red rock and carried it with me. Not long after, I saw your shadow as a vulture passed overhead.
It’s like an east wind blowing. I’m facing the wind, listening.
Look: Another psychopomp website:
End Friends: No One Dies Alone
It’s apparently by the same person as the End Friends link in a previous blog. There’s a link to that same video.
Check it out!
Let me know what you think.
I sure am thinking about you. I hope you’re thinking about me, too. I’d love to hear about it.
I’m a Buddhist and I love Buddhism. My previous post spoke against prayer wheels, but I’m about to do an about-face when it comes to prayer flags.
I’m not a believer in prayer wheels, seeing them as encouraging a mindless approach to prayer. However, prayer flags are different.
Prayer flags do not carry prayers to the gods.
The prayers and mantras printed on prayer flags are blown by the wind to spread their intended good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all.
They’re like colorful smile flags or good energy flags. Just looking at them can start a song in your heart.
I am Buddhist and I love Buddhism. So I do not mean to put out negative energy. But:
Prayer wheels: one turn is equivalent to sending all the prayers within the prayer wheel to the heavens.
But it’s not actually sending the prayers to heaven; it’s just equivalent to it.
Watch people working prayer wheels: Are they even paying attention? So many seem to be mindlessly turning turning turning.
Prayer is not mindless. Prayer is not equivalent to pretending to pray. Mindlessly.
What if you turned a prayer wheel the other way? Are you then sucking all that prayer energy from the world?